First of all, I would like to say that I don’t read Townhall. The only reason I even knew this article existed was because Jesse at Pandagon blogged about it. I may even leave a nastygram on his Facebook page in revenge, because this is about the most pathetic, icky article disguised as a holiday concern ooze that I have read all month.
It is called “When a Woman Isn’t in the Mood: Part I” and it was written by some douchebag named Prager, who clearly had decades of trouble getting to stuff his treats in his wife’s Christmas stocking, if you know what I mean. He also must have had trouble figuring out how to start off his sustained whine about the lack of marital nookie because he attempts to tie it in somehow to the economy and the recent election in the opening paragraph. Let me help you out, brother–my tenth-grade English teacher would definitely have failed that as an introductory sentence for your expository writing sample–if you’re interested, I can probably find her contact info and hook you two up for some tutoring. But, moving on!
It is an axiom of contemporary marital life that if a wife is not in the mood, she need not have sex with her husband.
Actually, I think the word you’re groping for here is law. Try again..?
Here are some arguments why a woman who loves her husband might want to rethink this axiom.
Well, I think we already know what your argumenT (singular, not plural!) is here. What you’re trying to say is that you think you can make up some bullshit that might sound remotely legitimate to disguise your actual argumenT, which would be I-wanna-teh-pussy-whenever-I-wanna-it-MY-pussy-mine-mine-mine-I-BOUGHT-it-when-I-married-you-you-can’t-withhold-it-from-me-NOW-like-you-got-away-with-when-we-were-dating-you-bitch!
First, women need to recognize how a man understands a wife’s refusal to have sex with him: A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him.
The vast majority of us gave up the pussy to our men long before we actually married them, which makes his argument a rather neat ass-backwards statement of cause and effect. As a matter of fact, it seems safe to say that sometimes, men would find it scary and unsettling if some random woman who is, erm, giving her body to him was doing so because she loves him as a wife loves her husband–a lil’ early in the game for that, sometimes, isn’t it..? The stupid, it burns!
When first told this about men, women generally react in one or more of five ways:
1. You have to be kidding. That certainly isn’t my way of knowing if he loves me. There have to be deeper ways than sex for me to show my husband that I love him.
2. If this is true, men really are animals.
3. Not my man. He knows I love him by the kind and loving way I treat him.
4. You have it backwards. If he truly loved me, he wouldn’t expect sex when I’m not in the mood.
5. I know this and that’s why I rarely say no to sex
The only thing that scares me about this is that he has clearly gone around attempting to instruct any number of women in their marital duties. I can’t even begin to imagine the scenarios. At the office party? During church services? Random phone polling?
Let’s deal with each of these responses.
Yes, let’s!
1. You have to be kidding. …
The most common female reaction to hearing about men’s sexual nature is incredulity, often followed by denial.
2. If this is true, men really are animals.
Correct. Compared to most women’s sexual nature, men’s sexual nature is far closer to that of animals.
Not really. Being unable to interpret love from one person to another in any form other than sexual is not really a sexual matter–it’s an emotional and/or mental one, and most women don’t think that men are that childish and/or stupid. Good God, who could ever think otherwise than that anti-feminist men despise their fellow man far more than any feminist ever could..?
3. Not my man.
Many women will argue, understandably, “My husband knows I love him. He doesn’t need me to have sex with him to know that. And this is especially so when I’m too tired or just don’t want sex. Anyway, my man only enjoys sex with me when I’m into it, too.”
But no! Douchebag knows your husband way, way better than you know him, even if he doesn’t even know the guy’s name. Read on!
The importance of mutual kindness to a marriage is impossible to overstate. But while necessary, it is not sufficient. Women can understand this by applying the same rule to men. Most women will readily acknowledge that it is certainly not enough for a man to be kind to her. If it were, women would rarely reject kind men as husband material. But as much as a woman wants a kind man, she wants more than that. If a man is, let us say, lacking in ambition or just doesn’t want to work hard, few women will love him no matter how kind he is. In fact, most women would happily give up some kindness for hard work and ambition. A kind man with little ambition is not masculine, therefore not desirable to most women.
Likewise, a kind woman who is not sexual with her husband is not feminine. She is a kind roommate.
Furthermore, a woman who denies the man she loves sex is not kind.
Translated: Emotional fulfillment isn’t why women and men get married. Women get married for a paycheck and men get married for pussy. Period. And if that isn’t why either of you got married, you’re a dyke and he’s a faggot.
4. You have it backward.
Every rational and decent man knows there are times when he should not initiate sex.
You know, if she’s bleeding profusely from the vagina from recent childbirth or both her legs are broken to the point where you can’t spread her casts far enough apart to get it in.
In a marriage of good communication, a man would either know when those times are or his wife would tell him (and she needs to — women should not expect men to read their minds. He is her man, not her mother.)
But you’ve been saying all along that telling him that he should not initiate sex means that you don’t love him.
But, to repeat the key point, rejection of sex should happen infrequently. And it should almost never be dependent on mood.
Because sex shouldn’t be something you want to do that feels good to you the vast majority of the time. It should be a lot more like taking a dump–! Of course, this rule only applies to the ladies. Men are perpetually in the mood, even while taking a dump!
5. I know this and that’s why I rarely say no to my husband.
This is a wise woman.
Success! Brainwashed! WOOT! She doesn’t even know she has a clitoris!
There are two kinds of sex (okay, there are a lot more kinds than “two,” but just for the sake of this argument): there is sex that you are having with yourself and sex that you are sharing with someone else. The most obvious kind that falls into the first category is “masturbation,” but it is quite possible to achieve it with one or more persons contributing the use of their body parts to aid you. This is what prostitutes do; they rent out their organs and orifices for somebody else to use to masturbate into, plus they may also provide sexually stimulating visuals, audios and sensories to aid the climax (bouncing tits, loud moans, faked orgasms, etc). Merry Christmas, ladies! The best holiday cheer you can give your man is to pretend you’re his whore. Hey, you are getting his paycheck out of it, right..?
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