This article is so transparent it’s hard to believe we’re expected to take it seriously, but I suspect we are–much like when John Kerry, during his failed presidential bid some years ago, movingly asked, “And who among us doesn’t like NASCAR?”*
It’s pretty much a fail from the get-go; what amazes me is that anyone bothered to write this article at all.
A Recipe for Riches
by Duncan Greenberg
Friday, October 9, 2009Want to become a tech titan or hedge fund tycoon?
Well yes, of course, who wouldn’t? And it’s really an option for all you Joe and Jane Sixpacks too—
Up your chances by dropping out of college
!!!! See?!? Most of you already got that part covered, don’tcha?
(and in a mumble)
or going to Harvard and working at Goldman Sachs.
(Oh yeah, those too! But let’s speed rapidly on past those parts—)
Are billionaires born or made? What are the common attributes among the uber-wealthy? Are there any true secrets of the self-made?
We get these questions a lot, and decided it was time to go beyond the broad answers of smarts, ambition and luck
We’re conspicuously leaving out the most accurate broad answer, which is being born wealthy. No, no, don’t thank us–self-satisified condescension comes to us as naturally as breathing!
Our admittedly unscientific study of the self-made members of the Forbes 400
Wait til you see how they defined (and that, barely at all, even implicitly) “self-made,” and I wonder just how tiny a percentage of the Forbes 400 even qualified under their rather, shall we say loose, guidelines? Since they make a point of not sharing that data point, tragically, we will never know….admittedly unscientific–which again makes me wonder, really–why did anyone even bother writing this article at all? Equally valuable time could have been spent, say, going to the bathroom, or pulling split ends, or even staring blankly at a wall.
After some blathering on about math genes, during the process of which the authors make it clear they don’t really understand what a high aptitude for math even consists of and are only including it to find something, somewhere, that doesn’t clearly and unequivocably require being born wealthy to result in being even a “self-made” billionaire—
Consistent with the rest of the population, more American billionaires and near-billionaires were born in the fall than in any other season. However, relatively few of them were born in December, historically the month with the eighth-highest birth rate.
However..?…there are only twelve months total. Which means, the month with the eighth-highest birthrate is actually also the month with the fourth-lowest birthrate, which means that it is a month with one of the lowest birth rates in the general population…what are you trying to do, be living proof that intelligence isn’t required to get a prestigious job..? Come on now! But no, the lure of the reverse statistics proved too strong–!
Of the 274 self-made tycoons on the Forbes 400, 14% either never started or never completed college. The number of precocious college dropouts is highest among those who forged careers as technology entrepreneurs: Bill Gates of Microsoft (MSFT), Steve Jobs of Apple (AAPL), Michael Dell of Dell (DELL), Larry Ellison of Oracle (ORCL) and Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook.
So 86% of them, ie the overwhelming majority, did. Which is statistically way more than the number of people in the general population that have and way WAY more than the number of people hailing from the lower socioeconimic brackets of America who have…look, if you the author of this article have a college degree, I admit that in of itself presents a legitimate case for how meaningless having one is in terms of the actual intelligence of the holder, but we’re not talking about that–! Clearly we’re talking about winding up with lots of money, not actually being intelligent. And to wind up with lots of money, 86% of the time, apparently, you need a college degree.
The article’s author needed to give up at this point, but for whatever reason couldn’t bring himself to do it, and finished up the article chirping brightly about how being educated at Yale and working for Goldman Sachs is a really great way to end up being a self-made billionaire, because having a Yale education and being employed at Goldman Sachs are things that are really available to children of the middle class and below, right..?
Just reflecting, once more, on the article’s title:
A Recipe for Riches
by Duncan Greenberg
Friday, October 9, 2009Want to become a tech titan or hedge fund tycoon? Up your chances by dropping out of college or going to Harvard and working at Goldman Sachs.
Well hell, while we’re at it:
A Recipe for Beauty
by Lisa Kansas
Sunday, October 11, 2009Want to become a supermodel? Up your chances by developing a weight problem or having extensive plastic surgery and working for Vogue magazine.
My admittedly unscientific survey, which may have consisted of me getting drunk and discussing the matter seriously with my stuffed penguin–
Yeah. Laters!
*Actually a misquote, but it fit the tone of the article so well I couldn’t help recycling it.